Holiday Co-Parenting: Peace, Plans & Boundaries

The holidays after a divorce can feel stressful and chaotic, and that’s completely normal. Parents often feel sad, nervous, or even a little relieved, sometimes all in one afternoon. The hopeful part is that with some planning, this season can still be warm and meaningful for kids.

Structure can help the holiday progression. Some parents split the day, with one taking the morning and the other the evening. Others alternate holidays each year or celebrate on a different day so no one feels rushed.

Consider new traditions – something fun! A pancake breakfast or a walk to see the lights often means more than any expensive present. Having the kids weigh in can help the family heal and move forward.

When the boundaries get crossed, make sure the kids don’t become the go-betweens and arguments are kept away from them. Co-parents talk directly with each other, keeping it short and respectful.

Here’s a practical problem that comes up all the time: the handoff. One couple dreaded exchanges because they always felt tense. A neutral meeting spot and a simple communication plan made a big difference, and their kids’ anxiety dropped almost right away.

This is where the Collaborative Divorce Process really shines. Instead of leaving a holiday schedule to a judge, spouses work with a team of professionals to build a parenting plan that fits their family. It’s more cooperative, more private, and far gentler on children than having matters resolved in a courtroom.

Collaborative Practice San Diego is a nonprofit, multi-disciplinary referral network of independent professionals of attorneys, mental health professionals and financial advisors working together to learn, practice, and promote Collaborative Processes for problem solving and the peaceful resolution of family law issues in regard to co-parenting, with an eye toward preserving the emotional, as well as the financial assets of the family.

Our team of experts can provide support to you and your family to better handle conflict to minimize hostility and allow the participants the possibility of a cordial relationship in the future. Contact us today!

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax/or mental health advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, mental health or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.