Ask These Five Questions to Find Out If You Are a Candidate for Collaborative Divorce
by Adryenn Cantor, CFLS, AAML 
Law Office of Adryenn Cantor, San Diego, California
If you see the completion of your marriage as transition, instead of failure, then you can consciously decide how to move forward in dissolving your marriage with grace and thoughtfulness.
Instead of seeing the process as dividing assets, dividing time with the children, and each of you having your “own” attorney, using conscious transition means you can work together with the support of a Collaborative Team.
You may have no choice that your marriage is ending, but you have many chooses on how that ending is accomplished.
The team approach used in the Collaborative process allows:
- Each party to be supported by their own attorney, who works individually with their client and cooperatively with the team to assist the couple in getting to a win-win result.
- Each party, should they so desire, can have guidance from a well-trained mental health professional to help them with the emotions of transitioning.
- Children can have a mental health professional to be their voice during the process.
- The parties can have the wisdom and expertise of one neutral expert to assist with the financial issues; thereby getting the information they need at half the cost.
So, if this New Year you find your marriage ending, perhaps the Collaborative approach is the way to make this important transition happen with the help of a conscious and caring team.
Some thoughts about whether you are a good candidate to use the Collaborative Team approach. Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you want to end your marriage with respect and integrity?
- Is taking a rational and fair approach to dividing your assets more important than seeing yourself as a winner and your spouse as the loser in this process?
- Are your children the most important aspect in this process?
- Is saving money, which could go to you or your children more important than spending it on protracted litigation?
- Do you want to model for yourself, your spouse and your children how mature adults handle significant challenges?
If your answer is “yes” to two or more of these questions, you should definitely consider having a consultation with a collaboratively trained professional to see if the Collaborative Team process is for you.
